yeah, I have it the same, I have 13700K 64GB and rtx4800, I'm in cockpit and then dcs is not responding and it crashes, what more, task manager shows dcs memory usage about 25GB for DCS, but whole memory usage shows 60GB ! No other apps running.
Then dcs crashes and I'm able to join server on 2nd or 3rd run...
Anyway, I find MT runs worse in MP than ST...