These philosophical debates always rage in various games. "I can do it, so can they", "git gud", or just flat out right denial of other people having issues.
There are too many variables in the game for AAR to be, in my opinion, included in missions/campaigns. I see ones that flatly advertise "no aar required". Clearly like Shagat said, there's an acknowledgment that AAR sucks.
First you have hardware variables. There are at least 4 common sticks; the X-52, X-55, Warthog, and T16000. None of which are cheap, especially the out dated yet still expensive AF warthog. Then you bump up to boutique sticks and i will never suggest someone bump up to these ridiculous prices when already we're spending so much on other peripheries. One suggestion given to me was "get VR" lmao. like just to tank reliably i need to drop another $1k for my make-believe. (this price includes the video card i'd need to run VR well).
There needs to be an acknowledgment that the game has terrible tanking mechanics. We sit here and talk about "educational" then have a tanker that reads at a second grade level while we quote the NATOPS and have Lex making carrier videos covering carrier mechanics. NO ONE IS MAKING TANKING VIDEOS and do you know why? EVERYONE KNOWS TANKER MECHANICS ARE BROKEN. NO, they aren't broken, they aren't even there.
Besides the random "breakaway" calls and the random "return pre-contact" and subsequent reeling in of the drogue, the tanker doesn't communicate. IRL, the tanker talks. So, we have to find ways around this and for me, the solution is simple:
Just like when you are lining up with the catapult, the game slides you into perfect position and hooks you up. This needs to be an enabled feature for AAR. Place a box in the options that allows for "assisted refueling" so when you get within a certain box near the tanker for boom/drogue, things hook up and sort of hold you there. The hold should mimic autopilot, taking an extreme amount of stick movement to maneuver while refueling while you are "glued" to the drogue. This box can also be quite small requiring you to put the aircraft about 95% of the way there so to speak. I think everyone should be able to fly close enough to the tanker with enough skill they can hold within that larger "box" while they struggle to get into the even smaller area for actual hook-up.
This can alleviate the issue for those who find it too difficult or have lesser quality controls.