A Transcript of Every Multi-Player Session I've Ever Had

[Rex]

Awww, yeah, this is gonna be great! I'm gonna spank these red pilots like they stole something!  Then when I'm done, I'm gonna torpedo all of their mothers like a German U-Boat!  What out mo-fos, I'm almost done spinning up, your flying time is about to be cut short!  Chuck updated the guide, so now you're mine!

 

<wait for what feels like eternity for the plane to start up>

 

Finally, this bird is ready to go.  Salute, here comes the cat shot … woo-hoo, did you see that perfect takeoff? That was all me!  Skill, baby, I gots skill!  Those Those navy dudes don't have anything on me! Now, time to give some red bastard a hot metal suppository they'll never forget!   Hey guys, you are the baseball and I'm steroid-era Barry Bonds!  You are the Titantic, I am the iceberg!  You are the Beatles, I am Yoko Ono!"

 

HIGH-WAY-TO-THE-DANGER-ZO…wh-wh-wait-where-what-where-wh-wh-where did my screen go? 

 

What the hell?!!! My computer just shut off! Mary, did you touch something?!!  Did we blow a fuse?!!! Did somebody pull the plug on my PC?!!! What the hell?!! Where's the cat?! I bet it was the cat!  I'm going to kill that damn cat!! I was just about to  … oh I see, I'm dead.  Never mind.

 

Ten minutes later, after spinning up a new jet …

 

Those lucky shot-bastards are really gonna feel my wrath now! Right place at the right time, eh losers, well your luck's about to run out, just wait until this damn thing is done starting up … alright here we go, and this time it's personal … Salute … CAT Shot … who-hoo …

 

HIGH-WAY-TO-THE-DA…really?

 

<drop out to single player - set the AI to Average skill, Weapons Hold>

 

Yeah, I hope you're all hungry because I'm getting ready to serve up an AMRAAM sandwich to each and every one of you! Who's your daddy now motherf*#$%ers??!! … HIGH-WAY-TO-THE-DANGER-ZONE... GONNA-TAKE-IT-RIGHT-IN-TO-THE-DANGER-ZONE ...!!!