I have a 3090/5800x3d/G2 VR setup... and I don't do Air to Air in it anymore. The graphical issues are just too much for me to stomach, in particular the ghosting of close contacts, which is where my lovely 55" 4K OLED does offers the experience I'm looking for.
On the other hand, I've found that Air to Ground missions are much easier to handle when locked at 45fps - without ACM, I don't see the ghosting. But yeah, I feel your pain - I think we're a few years away at least before VR in DCS comes close to the visual quality of 2D. In the meantime, a bigscreen 4K OLED offers a similar level of immersion, without the hassle.