I'm new to this also, this is what I have learned so far.
1 - I have this problem also(2560x1440). I can spot a plane if it's close only. I made a mission using the editor so I know where and when to expect bandits, it has not helped, I still cannot spot the "gray" label.
3 - First make sure that you have smoke turned up to max, it helps find targets that have already been attacked. Use the map in the briefing, zoom in as best you can and note the position of rivers and roads near the targets. Use this information while warming the motor to look at the F10 map and verify those positions. Remove the grid that does not have reference marks that you can use. Mark the course using the "ruler" to establish headings and distances, try to use locations of cities, lakes, airfields as references. Each grid is about 4x4 miles and takes about one minute to travel at about 250mph, check this for yourself, do not believe me there. You now have a heading, a visual reference to a waypoint and an ETA. Your position along your path can be checked by using LCtrl+F10, center your mouse pointer in the center of the screen and zoom out, you will see where you are.
For your FIRST approach at the target area fly low enough that you can draw fire and see where it is. The targets are very small and it will probably take time to be able to find the particular field where they sit. Climb up and get some references to the location of the target relative to roads, rivers and towns. this took me a while.
Make a mission using the editor that has targets in the BS locations,Fly this mission with labels on for practice. Be attentive to everything on the ground and reference the map in between these practice missions.
4 - I'm just doing A-G while I get better at handling the a/c, I am also left to die in a crippled ship after the first rounds impacts and I lose power.
Check Six every time you come off target, AAA hits can leave you streaming a long white cloud that attracts hunter! Hunters look for tracer and smoke from the target area too, they are drawn to it, go home!
I'll be on Discord when flying.