Grounded with wings clipped

[Jarhead0331]

My big brother died in June at the age of 51 after a year long courageous struggle against AML. His loss has rocked me to my core and I've been fluctuating between being in denial, filled with rage, desperate, anxious and deeply sad. I've suffered tremendous loss before. Friends, comrades, my father...nothing has hit me like the loss of my brother. I'm haunted by the memories of past times and crushed by the loss of future hopes and dreams. My grief has stripped me of all desire to fly like never before. I think about climbing into my rig to take flight, but I cannot find the desire, motivation or excitement that I once had. While my love for DCS will never subside, my passion for it seems to be at its lowest ebb and I've been flying since the Flanker and earliest of LOMAC days. I hope this is temporary and is only a symptom of my general lack of focus and apathy toward pretty much everything in the world. I wonder how long I'll be adrift like this.

I'm not sure why I'm posting this. Maybe I just need to vent? Maybe there is someone else out there feeling as lost and hopeless as I am? Maybe some of you will find this dark road I am on familiar?

Edited July 9, 2023 by Jarhead0331

[Kang]

Sometimes you need to vent and share. I'm sorry for your loss and I sincerely hope you have people in your life you can turn to. We are kinda here, but it probably isn't the same.

[VirusAM]

My big brother died in June at the age of 51 after a year long courageous struggle against AML. His loss has rocked me to my core and I've been fluctuating between being in denial, filled with rage, desperate, anxious and deeply sad. I've suffered tremendous loss before. Friends, comrades, my father...nothing has hit me like the loss of my brother. I'm haunted by the memories of past times and crushed by the loss of future hopes and dreams. My grief has stripped me of all desire to fly like never before. I think about climbing into my rig to take flight, but I cannot find the desire, motivation or excitement that I once had. While my love for DCS will never subside, my passion for it seems to be at its lowest ebb and I've been flying since the Flanker and earliest of LOMAC days. I hope this is temporary and is only a symptom of my general lack of focus and apathy toward pretty much everything in the world. I wonder how long I'll be adrift like this.
I'm not sure why I'm posting this. Maybe I just need to vent? Maybe there is someone else out there feeling as lost and hopeless as I am? Maybe some of you will find this dark road I am on familiar?

My friend I am sorry for your loss.
With what you are experiencing it is normal that your desire for a game/sim whatever..i is not in first place....the mourning has its phases (it is for every kind of loss) and slowly, but smoothly you will eventually go back to normal.
Maybe you could find it beneficial to see a therapist....but feel free to share and vent on this forum...there are countries at war, but here we are for a common passion and dream...we are united in some way.
Wish you the best

[timjulius1122]

On 7/9/2023 at 8:12 AM, Jarhead0331 said:

My big brother died in June at the age of 51 after a year long courageous struggle against AML. His loss has rocked me to my core and I've been fluctuating between being in denial, filled with rage, desperate, anxious and deeply sad. I've suffered tremendous loss before. Friends, comrades, my father...nothing has hit me like the loss of my brother. I'm haunted by the memories of past times and crushed by the loss of future hopes and dreams. My grief has stripped me of all desire to fly like never before. I think about climbing into my rig to take flight, but I cannot find the desire, motivation or excitement that I once had. While my love for DCS will never subside, my passion for it seems to be at its lowest ebb and I've been flying since the Flanker and earliest of LOMAC days. I hope this is temporary and is only a symptom of my general lack of focus and apathy toward pretty much everything in the world. I wonder how long I'll be adrift like this.

I'm not sure why I'm posting this. Maybe I just need to vent? Maybe there is someone else out there feeling as lost and hopeless as I am? Maybe some of you will find this dark road I am on familiar?

 

I'm deeply sorry for the loss of your brother and the profound grief you're experiencing. It's natural to feel lost, apathetic, and uncertain about the future. Sharing your feelings and seeking support can aid in the healing process. Allow yourself time and patience as you navigate through this difficult period. Remember that there are others who have gone through similar experiences and can empathize with your pain. Take each day as it comes, being gentle and compassionate toward yourself.