Made me curious, so tried HARMs (SP mode, latest release version) against a blob of various Russian SAM systems. I found that simply flying toward the threat and waiting for it to fire at me was a good indication of when to shoot. Then just chill out, trashing their lock repeatedly while waiting for the HARM to hit. After a little while, 80% hit rates weren't unreasonable.
Noticed a lot of stumbling blocks, though.
-Sometimes the HARM only damages the target, and the target will die shortly after, or will need another hit.
-The RWR scope may show totally inaccurate directions for threats that you haven't been spiked by in a while (like, showing up behind you when it's actually in front). I would only shoot threats that were noticeably pinging me or locked on.
-The RWR directions are inaccurate in general. Sometimes I would think I'm aimed right at a SAM, but was actually 50 degrees off, and the HARM didn't guide. It's better to find the SAM visually (or a nearby landmark) and aim at that.
-SAMs will try to shoot down the HARM, so I would make sure they stay locked on my plane (from a safe distance).
-The HARM turns slowly, so at close range it's necessary to point it well. If you put the VV right on the target, hits are possible down to 1 mile, even Shilkas.
-If the target moves out of the HARMs seeker FOV, the HARM seems to give up and go ballistic (intended behavior?).
-At 35k, 350KIAS The HARM reliably went 40nm with decent terminal energy. At 10k, 500KIAS the effective range was only like 15 nm. Also, at long ranges the HARM glides so slowly that it's easy to shoot down, so closer is better.
-There were times when HARMs would inexplicably go stupid, or miss by a hundred yards, that I never figured out. But this happened less and less as I became more careful about release conditions.
Ironically, by the time I plinked most of the sites, they were out of missiles. The HARM is nice for a pop-up threat, but the best SEAD is still just drawing fire.
PS: HARMs do not destroy ship radars. They're pretty useless.