OT, but a good laugh

[Shaman]

i don`t think it`s a joke, it was here on television (news).

Yes I agree. I always believed that whatever they say on TV has to be the ultimate truth :rolleyes:

[trashcanman]

From a pilot towing a target drone over a navy destroyer for AAA practice:

 

"Target tug to HMS XXX, please inform your fire control team that i am pulling the target not pushing the f***ing thing!"

[33rd_bratpfanne.]

LMAO Great Posts!

 

(especially the last one :icon_supe )

 

 

S!

 

Brati

[Pilotasso]

Some of my country crazy stories:

 

My brother is an AF cadette, and sometimes when I go with him to the academy and other air strips for flying gliders or to airshows

I get to hear the most surprising stories from the AF personel. Heres a couple.

 

An aviocar crew (its the plane below on the pic)

was flying a ferry flight of personel(cadetes who would fly navigation training flights back home) to a very small airstrip in the primitive inland country side.

Near to the midle of the trip the pilot smelled alcohool, looked behing the pilots cabin and saw one of the newbies drinking something. sometimes higher brass likes to establish bonds with young cadettes because these days theres a lack of pilots but sometimes overconfidence gets stupid,He yelled

-"As long as I'm flying this plane NO ONE drinks, get rid of it NOOOOW!"

And so the cadette hastily did.

Later on he smeeled somene else having a cigarrete:

"You guys have some kind of mental deficiency?! get rid of it NOOOOOW!"

And so he this cadette did too.

 

20 minutes to go and the pilot transmits an emergency call to the tower:

 

-"Tower ,tower, requesting emergency landing"

-"state the nature of your emergency"

-"toilet on board is on fire" (!!!!!)

 

...wait this story isnt over yet. It is decided that the plane would land on a different even smaller strip over a valey where the landscape is dominated by farms and ocasional cessnas. The aviocar buzzes in for the aproach and this peasant dude, amazed looks up, while driving his old motorcycle, slows down and gets bumped by a car from behind!! All this was observed from the people in the plane.

 

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

On another ocasion A cadette and an instructor prepare themselves for a simple navigation training mission in this plane.(chipmunk, very very old!)

 

During take off the caddete noticed a rather large bee smaking against the canopy, it hapens he just hated bees ever since he got stinged by a buch of them as a child and telled no one about his fobia to that day. He had to say several times to the instructor he couldnt "get concentrated".

 

-"tower tower, emegerncy landing" (only because it was too early in the estimated flight time)

-"state the nature of your emergency"

-"pilot stung by a bee"

 

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Now same aircraft, same mission. Caddete is from africa. we have military cooperation (aid) programs with some of the former colonies.

Canopy is closed, flight check list donne, engine starting...and... on fire!

Both try to open the canopy but it doesnt open as normal, the intructor puches a hole, but the cadete who was alot younger fails to do the same and basicaly sees the instructor leaving the plane alone. after a run the intructor looks back and sees his treinee still traped in, but he then decides to crawl over the seat and through the intructors hole with smoke and flames already all over the "dash board" !!

 

------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

 

Now aircraft is aviocar again, see 2nd pic above, but this version is equiped with IR sensors, long range A-surface radar and SLARS. Mission is fisheries patrol.

 

A spanish trawler is traked and followed. It is seen using explosives. its position is reported back to base, but soon the boat starts a run for the border as its sees the plane. A navy frigate is inbound but unable to catch up in time. So in this chase both the trawler and its porsuing plane cross the border!

 

After a few minutes 2 Spanish F-18's show up. The poor Aviocar is too slow and the frustrated captain just hates to be caught up in this sitiation leaving the trawler escape and being harassed by fighters.

The F-18's radio the aviocar but the pilot just swiches it off, and slows down. The F-18 pilots try to keep up but are forced to just fly by.

Desperate to comunicate, the fighter pilots do their best to fly realy close to stall speed while they try to comunicate by gesture, wich they are unable to do for grabbing the stick.

-" hi! (waves) what are you saying...cant hear yoooou! yeah yeah yeah :p "

 

All this stunts were made closing the border back again. Soon all 3 aircraft cross it. The 2 spanish F-18's are in turn violating our airspace. Frustrated by the lack of understanding the F-18's keep buzzing past, then 2 Portuguese F-16's join the fray, "to communicate" (read: the finger) with the Spanish F-18's back to spain. :D

[Maverick-90]

WE ARE ESCORTED BY[...]5 BATTLESHIPS

Attack of the Clones!! Iowa Class only has 4 Units and they are(Were) the only BB's in Service :icon_lol:

[Yellonet]

While taxiing at London's Gatwick Airport, the crew of a US Air flight

departing for Ft. Lauderdale made a wrong turn and came nose to nose with a

United 727.

 

An irate female ground controller lashed out at the US Air crew, screaming:

"US Air 2771, where the hell are you going?! I told you to turn right onto

Charlie taxiway! You turned right on Delta! Stop right there. I know it's

difficult for you to tell the difference between C and D, but get it right!"

 

Continuing her rage to the embarrassed crew, she was now shouting

hysterically: "God! Now you've screwed everything up! It'll take forever to

sort this out! You stay right there and don't move till I tell you to! You

can expect progressive taxi instructions in about half an hour, and I want

you to go exactly where I tell you, when I tell you, and how I tell you! You

got that, US Air 2771?"

 

"Yes, ma'am," the humbled crew responded.

 

Naturally, the ground control communications frequency fell terribly silent

after the verbal bashing of US Air 2771. Nobody wanted to chance engaging

the irate ground controller in her current state of mind.

 

Tension in every cockpit out around Gatwick was definitely running high.

 

Just then an unknown pilot broke the silence and keyed his microphone,

asking: "Wasn't I married to you once?":biggrin:

That time of the month huh ;)

[Maverick-90]

c'mon keep it up!