You are just doing it wrong.
Well atm arma is the least arcadish game, even with all its limitations and faults, there is in this genre. And most of those issues people complain about, like collision detection dont actually matter. if you care about stuff like that you got the wrong game, if you want to run people over go play carmageddon, if you want to run n gun raimbo in some childish game go play BF2 or COD.
It is quite thin if you dont have those approriate mods, ACE being one of them, and play it as a singleplayer game with AI, or on some public server where all those CS/COD/Battlefield kids run around doing all random stuff.
You get into a 60 player op with airforce, armor and infantry working together using formations, keeping their fire sectors and using voice comms and appropriate chain of command, then it goes like its SUPPOSED to be played.
People saying those screenshots where you have elements clearing urban areas and moving as a group are "fake" just have no idea how tactical games are meant to be played.
Its simply the only game which offers all that stuff it does, big areas with different vehicles working together. And has even some candy as a bonus, like weapons having moving bolts etc and ammo actually getting lower in the magazine when you look into it, passing out when hit badly, dragging wounded mates to safety, treating them correctly depending on their wounds, backblasts from AT weapons, gun jams, and so on and so on.