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Posted (edited)

Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.

 

Chuck Norris memorized Pi... Every single Digit

 

Chuck Norris orderd the Big Mac at Burger King and got one

 

Chuck Norris Can kill two stones with one bird

 

Chuck Norris does a push-up. He doesnt go up, th Earth goes down.

 

chuck norris can divide by zero

 

Once chuck norris visited the virgin islands. Now its just the islands

 

chuck norris sleeps with the light on not bcuz hes afraid of the dark but bcuz the dark is afraid of him

 

when chuck norris falls in water, he doesnt get wet; water gets chuck norred.

 

chuck norris invented the hamburger by throwing a cow at a chain fence

 

chuck norris doesn't need a watch he just decides what time it is"

 

chuck norris lost his virginity before his dad.

 

when chuck norris looks at the sun, the sun goes blind.

 

A snake once bit Chuck. After five days of extreme pain... The snake died.

 

When Chuck Norris washed his hair with Herbal Essences, the shampoo had an orgasm!!

 

Chuck Noris Died 10 years ago, but the Grim Reaper doesn't have the courage to tell him.

 

The Only time chuck norris was wrong was when he thouhgt he was wrong

 

Chuck norris can speak braile

 

 

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Edited by Pilotasso

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Posted

A few more LOL!

 

Chuck Norris clogs the toilet even when he pi$$es

 

The phrase "Made by Chuck Norris" is imprinted beneath the surface of China

 

If at first you don't succeed, you are obviously not Chuck Norris

 

Chuck Norris always gets blackjack. Even when he's playing poker.

 

Chuck Norris can open beer cans with his teeth. He still prefers to use other people's teeth, though.

 

Microsoft has released a new Anti-virus removal tool called Chuck Norris. The tool dares the virus to enter the machine.

 

Oxygen requires Chuck Norris to live

 

Chuck Norris' dog is trained to pick up his own poop because Chuck Norris will not take $hit from anyone

 

Chuck Norris ends every relationship with "Its not me, its you".

 

Chuck Norris' cowboy boots are made from actual cowboys

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Posted

Chuck Norris blinks faster then your fastest ECM script! ;)

51PVO Founding member (DEC2007-)

100KIAP Founding member (DEC2018-)

 

:: Shaman aka [100☭] Shamansky

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Posted (edited)

Godsmack from Multivipers just show me this.

http://www.nochucknorris.com/

to funny:megalol:

 

P.S.

Sorry I can not resist

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NdD54rG9oQA

Edited by mvsgas

To whom it may concern,

I am an idiot, unfortunately for the world, I have a internet connection and a fondness for beer....apologies for that.

Thank you for you patience.

 

 

Many people don't want the truth, they want constant reassurance that whatever misconception/fallacies they believe in are true..

Posted

When Chuck Norrice has a nerves brake down the nerves run away from him and than he catches them one by one and blends them together and then one of the nerves would say to him well done m8 that’s lovely take a brake and his like no thanks it‘s broken.

I know the human being and fish can coexist peacefully.

Posted

Cuck Norris also landed an airliner in the hudson river with 154 passengers. The difference is that it took 9 months to retreive the plane from the bottom and there were 308 survivors! :D

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Posted

When Chuck Noris went to get baptized the water said ef this and dried up.

When Chuck Noris was a teenager his pimples jumped off his face to comit suicide.

ED have been taking my money since 1995. :P

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