Dude, your were the best of the 504 at BVR. Im sorry if this offends others there, but I remenber our furious competition at the stats, that was fun as hell. I missed you alot. Since then I endured some of the frustration you talk about, and man I even brought it to these boards in total rage! I was told to deal with it and I had. Do the same and dont give up!
I truly believe once the clutter/chaff resistence and ECM and maddog exploits are cured it will be enough to restore some truth to the SIM. Even if the barrel roll and chaff still lures missiles at 0 degrees aspect remenber, the window of opportunity to escape is still narrow, after all Barrel roll makes the pilot tired, and chaff does not last forever either!
After a while your oponent will have to ease the stick and run out of chaff, just dont spam the missiles, fire in longer intervals.