Funny stuff ?!!

[Bucic]

"Disney claims its latest batch of child stars is so lifelike, youll barely be able to tell they have no souls." :D

 

[hassata]

pBYNbovODbE

[hassata]

And of course I replied :D:

 

 

That was awesome.

[Airbuster]

[hassata]

http://www.cracked.com/article_19287_10-movies-that-famous-people-dont-want-you-to-see.html

[Namenlos Ein]

Bear Grylls drinks some… juice.

[Bucic]

Melbourne International Film Festival "Polish" Cinema - AdNews

[monotwix]

Bear Grylls drinks some… juice.

 

That was freshly squeezed wild crapberry juice and he also likes freshly squeezed sickenberry juice.

[hassata]

 

and

 

http://www.reuters.com/article/2011/06/28/us-arrest-breastmilk-idUSTRE75R3Q420110628

 

"When deputies attempted to remove Robinette from the vehicle she advised the deputies that she was a breastfeeding mother and proceeded to remove her right breast from her dress and began spraying deputies and the vehicle with her breast milk," Davis said.

Edited July 2, 2011 by hassata

[mvsgas]

[zakobi]

[Mnemonic]

 

:megalol:

[159th_Viper]

An old Italian lived alone in New Jersey. He wanted to plant his annual tomato garden, but it was very difficult work, as the ground was hard. His only son, Vincent, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament:

 

 

 

Dear Vincent,

 

I am feeling pretty sad, because it looks like I won't be able to plant my tomato garden this year. I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. I know if you were here my troubles would be over. I know you would be happy to dig the plot for me, like in the old days.

 

Love,

Papa

 

 

 

A few days later he received a letter from his son.

 

 

Dear Pop,

 

Don't dig up that garden. That's where the bodies are buried.

 

Love,

Vinnie

 

 

 

At 4 a.m. the next morning, FBI agents and local police arrived and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized to the old man and left. That same day the old man received another letter from his son.

 

 

Dear Pop,

 

Go ahead and plant the tomatoes now. That's the best I could do under the circumstances.

 

Love you,

Vinnie

[acerus77]

A Classic: Loriot (starts at 1:00)

[Bucic]

[manfrez01]

 

:doh: OMG

Edited July 9, 2011 by manfrez01

[PeterP]

Chuck Norris

 

Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.

 

 

When the boogeyman goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

 

 

When Chuck Norris falls out of a boat he doesn’t get wet the water gets Chuck Norrised

 

 

Chuck Norris doesn’t read books, he just stares them down until he gets the information he wants out of them.

 

 

There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.

Chuck Norris doesn’t sleep, he waits.

 

 

If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can’t see Chuck Norris, you may be only seconds away from death.

[monotwix]

Chuck Norris vs Rambo= Spaghetti Bolognese.

[hog_driver111th]

Civilian Takes a Ride

 

This message is for America ‘s most famous athletes: Someday you may be invited to fly in the back-seat of one of your country’s Most powerful fighter jets. Many of you already have. John Elway, John Stockton, Tiger Woods to name a few. If you get this opportunity, Let me urge you, with the greatest sincerity….

 

Move to Guam.

Change your name.

Fake your own death!

Whatever you do.

Do Not Go!!!

I know.

 

The U.S. Navy invited me to try it. I was thrilled. I was pumped. I was toast! I should’ve known when they told me my pilot would Be Chip (Biff) King of Fighter Squadron 213 at Naval Air Station Oceana in Virginia Beach. Whatever you’re thinking a Top Gun named Chip (Biff) King looks like, triple it. He’s about six-foot, tan, ice-blue eyes, wavy surfer hair, Finger-crippling handshake — the kind of man who wrestles Dyspeptic alligators in his leisure time. If you see this man, run the Other way. Fast.

 

Biff King was born to fly. His father, Jack King, was for years the Voice of NASA missions. (‘T-minus 15 seconds and counting’. Remember?) Chip would charge neighborhood kids a quarter each to hear his dad. Jack would wake up from naps surrounded by nine-year-olds waiting for him to say, ‘We have liftoff’.

 

Biff was to fly me in an F- 14D Tomcat, a ridiculously powerful $60 million weapon with nearly as much thrust as weight, not unlike Colin Montgomerie. I was worried about getting airsick, so the night before the flight I asked Biff if there was something I should eat the next morning.

‘Bananas,’ he said.

‘For the potassium?’ I asked.

‘No,’ Biff said, ‘because they taste about the same coming up

As they do going down.’

 

The next morning, out on the tarmac, I had on my flight suit with my name sewn over the left breast. (No call sign — like Crash or Sticky or Leadfoot. But, still, very cool.) I carried my helmet in the crook of my arm, as Biff had Instructed. If ever in my life I had a chance to nail Nicole Kidman, this was it.

 

A fighter pilot named Psycho gave me a safety briefing and then fastened me into my ejection seat, which, when employed, would ‘egress’ me out Of the plane at such a velocity that I would be immediately knocked Unconscious. Just as I was thinking about aborting the flight, the canopy closed over me, and Biff gave the ground crew a thumbs-up In minutes we were firing nose Up at 600 mph. We leveled out and then canopy-rolled over another F-14.

Those 20 minutes were the rush of my life. Unfortunately, the ride lasted 80.

It was like being on the roller coaster at Six Flags Over Hell. Only without rails. We did barrel rolls, snap rolls, loops, yanks and banks. We dived, rose and Dived again, sometimes with a vertical velocity of 10,000 feet per minute. We chased another F-14, and it chased us.

 

We broke the speed of sound. Sea was sky and sky was sea. Flying at 200 feet we did 90-degree turns at 550 mph, creating a G force of 6.5, Which is to say I felt as if 6.5 times my body weight was smashing Against me, thereby approximating life as Mrs.. Colin Montgomerie.

 

And I egressed the bananas.

 

And I egressed the pizza from the night before.

 

And the lunch before that.

 

I egressed a box of Milk Duds from the sixth grade.

 

I made Linda Blair look polite.

 

Because of the G’s, I was egressing stuff that never thought would be egressed. I went through not one airsick bag, but two.

 

Biff said I passed out. Twice.. I was coated in sweat. At one point, As we were coming in upside down in a banked curve on a mock Bombing target and the G’s were flattening me like a tortilla and I Was in and out of consciousness, I realized I was the first person In history to throw down.

I used to know ‘cool’. Cool was Elway throwing a touchdown pass, Or Norman making a five-iron bite.. But now I really know ‘cool’. Cool is guys like Biff, men with cast-iron stomachs and freon nerves. I wouldn’t go up there again for Derek Jeter’s black book, but I’m glad Biff does every day, and for less a year than a rookie reliever makes in a home stand. A week later, when the spins finally stopped, Biff called. He said he and the fighters had the perfect call sign for me. Said he’d send it on a patch for my flight suit.

What is it? I asked.

‘Two Bags.’

[Laud]

Great!

 

:megalol:

 

:thumbup:

[Namenlos Ein]

‘Two Bags.’

VbfXVXez_fc

 

be63FfcY4PQ

[Demokrator]

[PeterP]

Finally I can quote mower and I agree without doubt :

[hassata]

Drm9j83zrwo

 

9JkbYJgW0mo

 

4gTYC-lJZvY

 

 

Goddam I'm getting old

http://www.buzzfeed.com/mjs538/what-it-was-like-working-at-taco-bell-in-the-80s

Edited July 12, 2011 by hassata

[Steel Jaw]

Finally I can quote mower and I agree without doubt :

 

Usually a good policy.