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Posted

You better believe it people - Global warming - it's for real !! :)

 

 

See that snow in the background? It’s being retained for future generations.

I know the human being and fish can coexist peacefully.

Posted
See that snow in the background? It’s being retained for future generations.

 

Speznaz can run so fast that they melt the ice

Spoiler

AMD Ryzen 9 5900X, MSI MEG X570 UNIFY (AM4, AMD X570, ATX), Noctua NH-DH14, EVGA GeForce RTX 3070 Ti XC3 ULTRA, Seasonic Focus PX (850W), Kingston HyperX 240GB, Samsung 970 EVO Plus (1000GB, M.2 2280), 32GB G.Skill Trident Z Neo DDR4-3600 DIMM CL16, Cooler Master 932 HAF, Samsung Odyssey G5; 34", Win 10 X64 Pro, Track IR, TM Warthog, TM MFDs, Saitek Pro Flight Rudders

 

Posted

CV is as good as its reader, just like the radar receiver.

 

 

Job Application

 

This is an actual job application that a 17 year old boy submitted to McDonald's in Florida... and they hired him because he was so honest and funny!

 

NAME: Greg Bulmash.

 

SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.

 

DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.

 

DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.

 

EDUCATION: Yes.

 

LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.

 

SALARY: Less than I'm worth.

 

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.

 

REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.

 

HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.

 

PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.

 

DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.

 

MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?

 

DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS?: Of what?

 

DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?"

 

HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing house Sweepstakes.

 

DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job no, on my breaks yes.

 

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde super model who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.

 

DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Yes. Absolutely.

 

SIGN HERE: Aries.

I know the human being and fish can coexist peacefully.

Posted

Dog For Sale

 

*Free to good home.

 

*Excellent guard dog.

 

 

Owner cannot afford to feed him anymore, as there are no more drug pushers, thieves, murderers, or molesters left in the neighborhood for him to eat.

 

Most of them knew Jethro only by his Oriental street name, HoLee Schitt.

 

 

 

 

Dog.jpg

 

Enquiries: 0800-BIGASSPOOCH-248

  • Like 1

Novice or Veteran looking for an alternative MP career?

Click me to commence your Journey of Pillage and Plunder!

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One more Soldier reporting Sir, I've served my time in Hell......'

Posted

^^ mother of ..... thats a huge beast! lol.

On a second thought - rather not own such a beast, think the size of the turd it drops.

The mind is like a parachute. It only works when it's open | The important thing is not to stop questioning

Posted
^^ mother of ..... thats a huge beast! lol.

On a second thought - rather not own such a beast, think the size of the turd it drops.

 

:eek::puke:

The only way to make sense out of change is to plunge into it, move with it, and join the dance.

"Me, the 13th Duke of Wybourne, here on the ED forums at 3 'o' clock in the morning, with my reputation. Are they mad.."

https://ko-fi.com/joey45

 

Posted
^^ mother of ..... thats a huge beast! lol.

On a second thought - rather not own such a beast, think the size of the turd it drops.

 

Yeah, and if he decides to drop it in the house, what would you do about it? It's not like *I'm* gonna try and rub his nose in it... :music_whistling:

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There's no place like 127.0.0.1

Posted
No but you can rub it into his nose.

 

*You* first!

 

I don't want anything to do with either end of that behemoth... (let alone both simultaneously).

[sIGPIC][/sIGPIC]

There's no place like 127.0.0.1

Posted

:crazy:

 

She speaks with forked tongue. ;)

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Posted (edited)

I can see where that could be advantageous...

 

Edit: I find her ears far more disturbing, btw.

Edited by sobek

Good, fast, cheap. Choose any two.

Come let's eat grandpa!

Use punctuation, save lives!

Posted

From wikipedia about No. 303

 

On one occasion, a pilot of 303, Sergeant Stanislaw Karubin, resorted to extreme tactics to bring down a German fighter. Following a prolonged air battle, Karubin was chasing a German fighter at treetop level. As he closed in on the tail of the German fighter, Karubin realized that his Hurricane had run out of ammunition. Rather than turning back to base, he closed the distance and climbed right above the German fighter. The German pilot was so shocked to see the underside of the Hurricane within arm's reach of his cockpit that he instinctively reduced his altitude to avoid a collision and crashed into the ground.[6]
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