You're doing it right!:thumbup::pilotfly:
I'll speak about fixed wings in FSX here, because that is the only other sim I have extensive experience with. Regarding the edges of the envelope, the default aircraft don't have very good FM. Trying to do any aerobatic maneuver other than loops and rolls is an exercise in hilarity as the plane flips and spins around as if physics just disappeared.
However, with some time, effort, and money, very accurate flight dynamics can be had. Examples include add-ons from RealAir, A2A Simulations, PMDG, and LotusSim. There are others as well, but these are the companies I have add-ons from. The RealAir SF260, Beechcraft Duke, and Lotus L-39 can all be spun and slipped realistically. The L-39 can even pull off legit knife edge. So the basic default aircraft are fine in most areas, but suck at the edges of the envelope, but the framework is available to make things very realistic.