My tips for AAR :
- start well trimmed (and trim as you take on fuel : it's heavy)
- don't concentrate your gaze on a point but let it drift (large FOV, sort of)
- choose anchor points on the tanker (engine, refuelling pipe) and your craft (AAR lights panel, HUD, heading indicator) and imagine you're a IRMV seeker trying to make these points stay in the same relative positions
- try not to react but anticipate the plane moves : you're flying slowly and when slow it has a great deal of inertia and is slow to respond to commands ; so if you induce oscillations it's because your commands are too late
- practice, practice, practice ; and when done : practice the other side ;)
Hope this helps