I think you are doing the 104th server a disservice in basing your opinion on a single visit. :D If I understand you right you are looking for brevity only chat done via TARS which you will only find in organized squadrons. The reason for this should be obvious, not anyone like you has the presence of mind to listen in first... :D
Check this thread for a 'official' squadron directory: http://forums.eagle.ru/showthread.php?t=34062
Now on the 104th outside of the brevity channels communication is mostly light. Talking&Chatting is still okay aslong as you don't interrupt somebody in combat and keep it to a reasonable level. (Yes I am looking at you, you know who I mean!^^)
Most important stuff to look up that comes to my mind: BRAA, Railgun & Buddyspike. :)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Multiservice_tactical_brevity_code