Funny stuff ?!!

[Yurgon]

Found that rather amusing ^^

 

LOL :D

[TwilightZone]

 

Found that rather amusing ^^

:megalol:

[AndyJWest]

Yup, the F-35 isn't exactly a beauty. Or as John Farley (Harrier test pilot) heard it described "It looks like a badly opened tin". http://www.pprune.org/military-aviation/548696-harrier-replacement.html

[Winfield_Gold]

Yup, the F-35 isn't exactly a beauty. Or as John Farley (Harrier test pilot) heard it described "It looks like a badly opened tin". http://www.pprune.org/military-aviation/548696-harrier-replacement.html

 

 

If aircraft are designed around Beauty, the Harrier would in my books is a heffer.

[Laurius]

Some funny stories and jokes

 

Fighters or heavies?

An F-16, after refueling behind a KC-135, was generally making a nuisance of himself by flying rolls around the lumbering tanker. The message for the KC-135 crew was, "Anything you can do, I can do better."

Not to be out done, the tanker pilot announced that he would rise to the challenge. The KC-135 continued its flight, straight and level, however. Perplexed, the fighter pilot asked, "So? What did you do?"

"We just shut down two engines."

 

Marines

An airman in a bar leans over to the guy next to him and says, "Wanna hear a MARINE joke?"

The guy next to him replies, "Well, before you tell that joke, you should know something. I'm 6' tall, 200 lbs, and I'm a MARINE. The guy sitting next to me is 6'2" tall, weighs 225, and he's a MARINE. The fella next to him is 6'5" tall, weighs 250, and he's also a MARINE. Now, you still wanna tell that joke?"

The Airman says, "Nah, I don't want to have to explain it three times."

 

The General's Physical

The General goes to the flight surgeon for his physical exam. The surgeon says, "General, what kind of problems are you having?". The General says "None whatsoever".

Surgeon says "What about your sex life, when was the last time you had sex?"

The General says "1959".

The Surgeon says "Wow, that's a long time ago".

The General says "But it's only 0830."

 

Tower Time

On some air bases the Air Force is on one side of the field and civilian aircraft use the other side of the field, with the control tower in the middle. One day the tower received a call from an aircraft asking, "What time is it?"

The tower responded, "Who is calling?"

The aircraft replied, "What difference does it make?"

The tower replied "It makes a lot of difference:

If it is an American Airlines Flight, it is 3 o'clock.

If it is an Air Force, it is 1500 hours.

If it is a Navy aircraft, it is 6 bells.

If it is an Army aircraft, the big hand is on the 12 and the little hand is on the 3.

If it is a Marine Corps aircraft, it's Thursday afternoon."

 

Been to Frankfurt Before?

The German controllers at Frankfurt Airport were a short tempered lot, they not only expected you to know your parking location but how to get there without any assistance from them. So it was with some amusement that we (a Pan Am 747) listened to the following exchange between Frankfurt ground and a British Airways 747 (Speedbird)

Speedbird: "Good morning Frankfurt, Speedbird 206 clear of the active."

Ground: "Guten morgan, taxi to your gate.

The BA 747 pulls onto the main taxiway and stops.

Ground: "Speedbird, do you not know where you are going?!"

Speedbird: "Standby ground, I'm looking up the gate location now.

Ground (with typical German patience): "Speedbird, have you never been to Frankfurt before?!"

Speedbird (coolly): "Yes, in 1944, but I didn't stop."

 

The Importance of Airspeed

A good ol' boy American AF reservist C-130 pilot was in the (that day very crowded) instrument pattern for landing at Rhein-Main. The conversation went something like this:

Control: "AF1733, You are on an eight mile final for 27R. You have a UH-1 three miles ahead of you on final; reduce speed to 130 knots."

Pilot: "Rogo', Frankfurt. We're bringing this big bird back to one-hundred and thirty knots fur ya."

Control (a few moments later): "AF33, helicopter traffic at 90 knots now 1 1/2 miles ahead of you; reduce speed further to 110 knots."

Pilot: "AF thirty-three reining this here bird back further to 110 knots"

Control: "AF33, you are three miles to touchdown, helicopter traffic now 1 mile ahead of you; reduce speed to 90 knots"

Pilot (a little miffed): "Sir, do you know what the stall speed of this here C-130 is?"

Control: "No, but if you ask your co-pilot, he can probably tell you."

 

Captain Bravado

There was a bomber pilot during WWII named Captain Bravado, who showed no fear when facing his enemies. One day, while flying over Germany, the tail gunner spotted two FW-190's approaching, and the crew became frantic. Captain Bravado ordered his copilot to bring him his red shirt.

The copilot quickly got the red shirt to the captain, who put it on and turned toward the fighters to give his gunners a better field of fire. His crew shot down the enemy planes and went on to lead the formation on a successful bombing run.

That evening, all the men sat around the hangar recounting the earlier triumph. One of them asked the Captain, "Sir, why did you call for your red shirt before battle?"

The Captain replied, "If I were to be wounded in the attack, the shirt would not show my blood. Thus, you men would continue to fight, unafraid." All of the men sat and marveled at the courage of such a manly man's man.

The next day, they took off for a mission deeper into the heart of the Third Reich. Once over German territory, the top gunner spotted an entire squadron of German fighters above them, while the belly gunner saw another squadron below.

The crew stared in worshipful silence at the Captain and waited for his usual orders.

Captain Bravado gazed with steely eyes upon the vast horde arrayed against his craft, and without fear, turned and calmly said, "Get me my brown pants."

 

:D

[Chichco]

[Djent33]

What The Fck

[Lizzard]

simply one of the most awesome movie reviews ever

 

[VTJS17_Fire]

I'd love, if football would be always so funny ... :megalol:

 

https://www.facebook.com/video.php?v=786037198135348

[Rotorhead]

Some funny stories and jokes

 

Good ones, here's one more:

 

A young student pilot is trying to impress a lady in an airport café, at mixed civilian - military airfield.

 

"So you really are a pilot?" she asks. "Yes. Yes, I am."

"And what type of airplane do you fly?" "A Cessna," he replies, "C-152, namely."

 

Then, he slowly points at a Hercules standing on the tarmac: "That one over there, for example, is a C-130..."

 

:D

[Yurgon]

Good ones, here's one more:

 

A young student pilot is trying to impress a lady in an airport café, at mixed civilian - military airfield.

 

"So you really are a pilot?" she asks. "Yes. Yes, I am."

"And what type of airplane do you fly?" "A Cessna," he replies, "C-152, namely."

 

Then, he slowly points at a Hercules standing on the tarmac: "That one over there, for example, is a C-130..."

 

:D

 

Haha, took me a while to get it, but that's a good one. :)

[Isegrim]

 

Just if you didnt already know. :)

[Namenlos Ein]

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k0kSMnG6Lik

[Isegrim]

[leafer]

I bet a moment later he or she died of a heart attack.

[Eight Ball]

 

:surprise:

[Nac33]

now THATS a truck jump:shocking:

[SeldomSeen]

:D nice jump

[Isegrim]

 

I-pad for Papa :)

Edited November 29, 2014 by Isegrim

[Isegrim]

[SafetyTurtle]

[Namenlos Ein]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qvDw9LRcA7I

[tarracta]

^ What he says in radio: "The road is blocked due to an UFO crash, please make a rescue lane" :lol:

[Bucic]

the cloud ;)

 

HP's recent project

 

http://www.phoronix.com/vr.php?view=MTg2Nzg

 

 

 

Onion TV parody on HP from... 2012

 

[acerus77]

Regarding North Korea:

http://i.imgur.com/UHEnmA2.jpg