The World Raises Terrorism Alert Status

[A.S]

The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist

threats and have raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved."

Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or

even "A Bit Cross." The English have not been "A Bit Cross" since the

blitz in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out. Terrorists have been

re-categorized from "Tiresome" to a "Bloody Nuisance." The last time the

British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was during the great

fire of 1666.

 

The Scots raised their threat level from "Pissed Off" to "Let's get the

Bastards" They don't have any other levels. This is the reason they have

been used on the frontline in the British army for the last 300 years.

 

The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror

alert level from "Run" to "Hide". The only two higher levels in France

are "Collaborate" and "Surrender." The rise was precipitated by a recent

fire that destroyed France 's white flag factory, effectively paralysing

the country's military capability. It's not only the French who are on a

heightened level of alert. Italy has increased the alert level from

"Shout loudly and excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more

levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides."

 

The Germans also increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance"

to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two higher

levels: "Invade a Neighbour" and "Lose".

 

Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual, and the only

threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels .

 

The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy.

These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish

navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.

 

Americans meanwhile are carrying out pre-emptive strikes, on all of

their allies, just in case.

 

And at a local level...

 

New Zealand has also raised its security levels - from "baaa" to

"BAAAA!". Due to continuing defense cutbacks (the airforce being a

squadron of spotty teenagers flying paper aeroplanes and the navy some

toy boats in the Prime Minister's bath), New Zealand only has one more

level of escalation, which is "Shit, I hope Australia will come and

rescue us". In the event of invasion, New Zealanders will be asked to

gather together in a strategic defensive position called "Bondi".

 

 

Australia , meanwhile, has raised its security level from "No worries" to

"She'll be right, mate". Three more escalation levels remain, "Crikey!',

"I think we'll need to cancel the barbie this weekend" and "The barbie

is cancelled". So far no situation has ever warranted use of the final

escalation level .

[Shaman]

This just made my day :) From the very morning :)

Hilarious!

[Kuky]

hahaha... awesome! :D

[asparagin]

nice!

[dragony]

Thank you very much!

[Lucas_From_Hell]

Good one, A.S :D!

Edited February 7, 2010 by Lucas_From_Hell

[Case]

Made my day AS, thanks!

 

Man, if threads like these turn into that F-15C vs Su-27 thread then were are we going to...?

[Boberro]

Hahhha :D

 

"The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror

alert level from "Run" to "Hide"

 

:megalol: :lol: :D

[Schnarre Aggro]

Great stuff man great stuff ...I really like the "lose"-state thing :thumbup:

Edited February 10, 2010 by EtherealN
Rule 1.2

[joey45]

Love mate.. Rep inbound

[159th_Viper]

:megalol:

[Frazer]

LOL, reminds me of this one:

[talisman]

Brilliant, just brilliant!

[topol-m]

Where`s the continuation about the other countries` alert status? :D

[monotwix]

Less atlantic tuna for Japanese sashimi alert.

[RedTiger]

Very Nice A.S. :D

[GaryIKILLYOU]

"The Scots raised their threat level from "Pissed Off" to "Let's get the

Bastards" They don't have any other levels. This is the reason they have

been used on the frontline in the British army for the last 300 years."

I lol'd:megalol:

[CE_Mikemonster]

Hehehe