You're not the first guy to have this idea... There's a couple other threads asking for a AAR game mode. Back in the day when the FC3 Eagle still had its SFM you just had to make contact and the computer would fly the plane until you topped off your tanks. It was helpful, but ultimately not nearly as satisfying as flying the jet the whole time. In my opinion, tanking is the most difficult but also the most satisfying part of DCS. Put in your practice, have the patience to work through the frustration and eventually it will click. If you want to practice with probe and drogue refueling you can use the M-2000C or the Su-33. Difficult, but definitely not impossible.
This was just my long winded way of saying "git gud." :smilewink:
Seriously though, best of luck. Hope you figure it out. :thumbup: