There is no sweet spot where you can be hands off. You will need to be working the throttle a lot, the stick just a little. However I don’t mean going full burner and back to idle. There’s a zone that you find yourself in, once in that zone you will start to move the throttle forwards and backwards to maintain positioning. Those of us who fly in close formation a lot have it called “see the motion, stop the motion”. So if I see the tanker start to pull away, I’ll quickly advance the throttle a little bit but then I’ll snap it back to my zone. This prevents over corrections, but will likely cause them early on for someone not familiar with it.
Close formation and or tanking isn’t something that is easy. My best advice is to start with small goals. Fly in form on the wing, progress to under the tanker trailing the boom, move in close, and then try to connect, each connection try to stay longer on the boom. Don’t get frustrated or tense up, wiggle the toes (don’t ask how it works, it just does). Last thing make sure you open your Aerial Refuel Door early on, it brings the viper flcs gains down so the controls are slightly dampened.